The Nigerian twitter-sphere is a bag of craziness, with updates ranging from outright brilliant, funny and creative, to downright inane.
It’s amazing what people can do with 140 characters. So do you need attention, feeling bored, need something to spice up your day, or really, really angry at someone, then twitter is your friend.
Just remember that Netizens on twitter are eager and ever ready with witty tweets.
Here are five very simple ways of becoming a twitter trend:
1. Be politically incorrect
Nobody likes to be a victim, but everybody has, at one time or another, taken part in a jest of someone weaker or, supposedly inferior.
It’s all for the fun, right? Recall the Sean Tizzle tweets about Adele’s ‘Hello’? Epic!
2. Accuse someone of something scandalous (preferably your ex or colleague)
Nothing gets people talking (in this case tweeting) like a good scandal. It doesn’t necessary have to be true, maybe a half-truth or half the story.
Twitter Netizens will surely complete it. Just pull a Dammy Krane on anybody. Or simply accuse your ex of something –anything at all, but be sure that it is jaw popping.
3. Affirm a stereotype
Again, it doesn’t matter if the stereotype is true (are stereotypes true anyway?), just tweet it and throw in a hashtag for good measure.
Remember to stay away from: Benin and witches (it’s too usual, boring and old), Calabar girls and big nyash (too trite and almost stale), African mothers and wahala (this is funny all the time, but come on! be creative; come up with something new), Igbo people and money (so true, but come on folks, do better), Yoruba and Owambe (let’s be real here, this is old). Try something new and creative.
Remember, whatever you come up with must be street and mumu-friendly, with a little bit of satire and truism.
4. Be Vic O
The honest truth is that in Nigeria, Vic O is your go to guy for anything internet hit and trending.
How he does it, we don’t know.
But we suspect he has a more than average IQ when it comes to making a fool of himself.
Hence, the best lesson we should all learn from Vic O is: everybody loves people that make a fool of themselves.
Nobody wants to be seen as the village idiot, why not make yourself one? I guarantee you’ll be an instant hit. Just be consistent in the self mockery, one day you’ll be a hit.
5. Throw an e-punch (also known as pulling an Olamide) : I was in my house and trailer came to jam me
I suppose not everybody can be king of the street i.e have a squad of soldiers standing by at Lagos mainland, willing and ready to do their commanders’ bidding.
But we all have one thing: fingers to insult anybody from the presidency to your state governor to that wicked senior in secondary school –after all na you send political holders to come twitter?.
Only rule to Twitter e-punching is that your tweet must be witty, have something catchy (like the legendary “biko leave trash for LAWMA”) and have, at the very least, 0.01% element of truth.
Do all, or any, of the above and I guarantee you that you’ll be a Twitter hit.
Just stay true to form.
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