People may judge you based on your taste in music.
From the moment two people meet, they're sizing each other up,
looking for signs of qualities like honesty, intelligence, and altruism.
Whether it's a date or a job interview, the small stuff matters —
from the firmness of your handshake to how often you check your phone.
We checked out the Quora thread "What are the
really small things that tell a lot about a person's psychology and
personality?" and the latest scientific research, and
highlighted some of the most common behaviors people use to judge you.
1. Your handshake
Several Quora users admitted that they judge people based on their
handshake.
"Strong handshakes usually reflect a strong and confident
character, whereas weak handshakes usually indicate a lack of confidence and
are almost always a characteristic of people who would look for an easy way to
do things," writes Julian
Parge.
Research backs up the idea that your handshake can reveal certain
aspects of your personality. One study found that people
with firm handshakes were more likely to be extroverted and emotionally
expressive and less likely to be shy and neurotic.
2. Whether you show up on time
Late for a very important date? The person who's waiting may be
forming a negative impression of your personality.
"A proactive person will be there on time, because he is
self-motivated, mentally organized, and values time whereas a
procrastinator will be running here and there at the last hour," says
Humaira Siddiqui.
According to
science, those who are chronically late aren't necessarily
inconsiderate people — but they're probably more laid-back, "Type B"
individuals.
3. How you treat restaurant staff
Multiple users said they pay close attention to how other people interact with
waiters.
"I will never, EVER date a man who is rude to restaurant
staff," says
Sati Marie Frost.
Even top executives say that you
can learn a lot about someone based on the way he or she treats waiters, hotel
maids, and security guards. Ron Shaich, CEO of Panera Bread, says that he once
declined to give someone a job partly because she was nice to him but rude to
someone cleaning the tables nearby.
4. Where you look when you drink out of a cup
Writes
David Junto: "A person that looks into the cup when drinking tends to be
more introspective, self-aware, idealistic, and focused. A person who looks
over the rim of the cup when drinking tends to be more influenced by others,
more environmentally aware, carefree, extroverted, and trusting."
And don't even get started on what your drink choice may
signal to others.
5. Whether you bite your nails
Sushrut Munje has strong views on people with bitten nails, saying
that it's a sign that "the person eats away at himself."
Meanwhile, research
suggests that those who bite their nails — or pull their hair or pick their
skin — tend to be perfectionists, unable to fully relax.
6. Your handwriting
Whether you're writing a to-do list or a love note, your
handwriting can say a lot about you.
Ramesh Nagaraj believes
that "people who put a lot of pressure on pen and paper to write
something are usually stubborn in attitude. They have a lot of
confidence."
Meanwhile, professional
graphologist Kathi McKnight says that large letters indicate that
you're people-oriented, while small letters suggest you're introverted. Letters
that slant to the right can mean you're friendly and sentimental, those that
don't slant at all might mean you're pragmatic, and letters that slant to the
left suggest you're introspective.
7. How often you check your phone
An anonymous Quora user writes
about noticing "where and when [people] pull their phones out (waiting in
a short line, talking to their parents, being out with friends, when they're
alone in public)."
As for what it might mean if you're constantly refreshing your
email or Facebook feed, one study
found that you may be less emotionally
stable and trying to boost your mood.
8. Whether you make eye contact
Munje says that
a limp handshake and a lack of steady eye contact "shows lack of
self-control, required drive to follow through, and a weak will."
Alternatively, psychologist Adrian Furnham, PhD, writes
in Psychology Today that extroverts tend to look more often and for longer at
their conversation partners than introverts do. And in general, people who look
at their partners more often are more confident and socially dominant.
9. Your selfie style
Research
suggests that people will assume a lot about you based on your selfies.
Usually, those assumptions are inaccurate. For example, being
alone in a photo does not mean you're neurotic, but people are probably right
to think that positive emotion in a selfie predicts openness to experience.
10. Your taste in music
Citing a 2003 study on the
topic, Quora user Humaira Siddiqui says that
she judges people based on the type of music they listen to.
The study found that people who listen to "reflective and
complex" music tend to be open to new experiences and politically liberal.
Those who listen to "upbeat and conventional" jams are more likely to
be extroverted and athletic.
11. Your favorite color
Shivani Jha has a theory
on what your color of choice reveals about your personality. For example, if
your favorite color is red, she assumes you desire physical fulfillment. If
your favorite color is yellow, she thinks you need logical order and value
individuality.
Industrial psychologist Bernardo Tirado breaks it down slightly
differently. Writing in
Psychology Today, Tirado says that red lovers are tenacious and
determined, while yellow lovers enjoy learning and find happiness easily.
12. Whether you're a dog or a cat person
People may make inferences about you based on your pet. For
instance, Joe Waldron believes
that people who do not like cats have control issues, and he warns against dating
women who have big dogs, believing that they are not interested in
long-term relationships.
Meanwhile, one study found
that people who prefer dogs are generally more energetic and outgoing, while
those who prefer cats tend to be more introverted and sensitive. The same
study also found that cat people tend to be more intelligent.
13. How long it takes you to ask a question
Even if someone doesn't say anything about themselves in
conversation, you can still learn about their personality.
As Khaliana Schmitz says:
"When meeting someone for the first time ... see how long it takes for
them to ask you a question in return. You'd be surprised how much this reveals
in terms of a person being a 'giver' or a 'taker.' It will help you distinguish
between 'people who like you' and 'people who like what you can provide
them.'"
Culled from Business Insider
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