The end of a relationship could be devastating and you may feel you’ll never get your confidence back, but there are
simple steps you can take to start putting your life together again. Whether you want to sob, rage, or crawl under the covers, just go with it Denis Knowies, a marriage counsellor, says the first step is “to realize the awful feelings are not the end of everything,
they are the start of the healing process.
You’ll go through despair, anger, denial and finally
acceptance, but never fight your feelings”.
When you’re ready— and only you will know when that is,
she advises these simple steps: Instead of dwelling on how
you didn’t measure up (women generally blame
themselves), do a relationship postmortem. Ask yourself
what worked, what you loved about him, where the
relationship went wrong, what you would do differently and
what your priorities are now. Isolating what you want from a
partner makes you less likely to repeat old patterns and
gives your next relationship a better chance of success.
Get some perspective: It’s not the whole of you that’s been
rejected. Rebuild your confidence by making a list of the
things you ’re good at— for example: you ‘re a good parent,
a fantastic friend, great at your job and men find you
attractive.
Take small steps: If you’ve become too frightened or low to
go out at night, move away from your comfort zone slowly.
Can’t face that blind date? Go out with the girls after work
one night. Slowly push back the boundaries and start to
rebuild your confidence.
Write everything down—it’s very cathartic: Write your ex a
letter outlining your feelings, but don’t send it. Keep it in a
diary to help track progress. One day, you’ll look back and
wonder why you ever felt so miserable.
Revamp hour look: There’s nothing like pampering to
restore self-esteem, in fact, scientists ARISE (Association For
Research Into the Science of Enjoyment) have found that
experiencing pleasure can boost your immune system and
reduce stress hormones. The key with a make over,
however, is not to make drastic changes you may regret.
A new hair colour is one of the easiest ways to transform
your look or cover any gray that’s making you feel worse. A
lot of newly single women tend to desperately look for a big
change, but it’s best to go a few darker shades at a time. The
perfect hair colour makes the eyes more noticeable, which
makes you look younger. Professionally made faces, once in
a while, arc a good compromise and can take years off you,
while semi-permanent colours are the most natural way to
cover grey.
Get active: Exercise has many benefits in the traumatic time
following a breakup. Women want to overhaul their bodies,
possibly because they feel being over-weight contributed to
the end of the relationship—which, of course, it rarely has.
Whatever the motive, exercise is a great mood-booster.
Exercise releases endorphins that give you a natural high.
Research shows it can be as effective as anti-depressants at
treating mild depression. It can also give you a new purpose.
simple steps you can take to start putting your life together again. Whether you want to sob, rage, or crawl under the covers, just go with it Denis Knowies, a marriage counsellor, says the first step is “to realize the awful feelings are not the end of everything,
they are the start of the healing process.
You’ll go through despair, anger, denial and finally
acceptance, but never fight your feelings”.
When you’re ready— and only you will know when that is,
she advises these simple steps: Instead of dwelling on how
you didn’t measure up (women generally blame
themselves), do a relationship postmortem. Ask yourself
what worked, what you loved about him, where the
relationship went wrong, what you would do differently and
what your priorities are now. Isolating what you want from a
partner makes you less likely to repeat old patterns and
gives your next relationship a better chance of success.
Get some perspective: It’s not the whole of you that’s been
rejected. Rebuild your confidence by making a list of the
things you ’re good at— for example: you ‘re a good parent,
a fantastic friend, great at your job and men find you
attractive.
Take small steps: If you’ve become too frightened or low to
go out at night, move away from your comfort zone slowly.
Can’t face that blind date? Go out with the girls after work
one night. Slowly push back the boundaries and start to
rebuild your confidence.
Write everything down—it’s very cathartic: Write your ex a
letter outlining your feelings, but don’t send it. Keep it in a
diary to help track progress. One day, you’ll look back and
wonder why you ever felt so miserable.
Revamp hour look: There’s nothing like pampering to
restore self-esteem, in fact, scientists ARISE (Association For
Research Into the Science of Enjoyment) have found that
experiencing pleasure can boost your immune system and
reduce stress hormones. The key with a make over,
however, is not to make drastic changes you may regret.
A new hair colour is one of the easiest ways to transform
your look or cover any gray that’s making you feel worse. A
lot of newly single women tend to desperately look for a big
change, but it’s best to go a few darker shades at a time. The
perfect hair colour makes the eyes more noticeable, which
makes you look younger. Professionally made faces, once in
a while, arc a good compromise and can take years off you,
while semi-permanent colours are the most natural way to
cover grey.
Get active: Exercise has many benefits in the traumatic time
following a breakup. Women want to overhaul their bodies,
possibly because they feel being over-weight contributed to
the end of the relationship—which, of course, it rarely has.
Whatever the motive, exercise is a great mood-booster.
Exercise releases endorphins that give you a natural high.
Research shows it can be as effective as anti-depressants at
treating mild depression. It can also give you a new purpose.
